Today, Kath, Tory, Tiffany, Brad, and I were at OHSU from 7:45 until 9:30 meeting with my radiation doctor and his two assistants.  Chemo is not an option at this time for a method to control the tumor.  I basically have two options.  I either do nothing, which means allowing the tumor to do whatever it decides to do.  This, of course, is not an avenue that I care to take.  The other option is the use of radiation again.  My radiation doctor told his colleagues how much of a high dosage of radiation that he was using last time and they laughed at him.  They felt this would severely damage the bones.  Yet I went through the treatment with no ill effects.  So that is why we thought radiation was not an option this time, because of how much was used the first time.  If I do radiation, there could be possible side effects from this.  Possible deterioration of the bones and nerves.  The worst possible scenario would be complete loss of the legs from the waist down.   Then I could have loss of bladder control.  Not the greatest of things you want to hear.  However, I am willing to chance this, because I believe we can have success with this treatment!  I have the support of wonderful family and friends!  I did this once and I believe we can do this a second time.  I just need double the thoughts and prayers!!  So one week from tomorrow (Wednesday), I head to OHSU for my first of twenty radiation treatments!  I will go there everyday for twenty straight weekdays (I only have weekends off).  After my twenty minute treatment, I go home, put lotion on the radiated area, lay there for about four hours, relax the rest of the day, sleep, get up and head back to OHSU to start it all over again!  I am ready to take on this challenge again!  I have a lot of trust in my doctors and OHSU.  So we now just change directions and head down this healing path!  Again I appreciate all your input!  Thanks for stopping by also, Tom!!

I received a call from my doctor's assistant on Friday and after discussing my treatment, they have decided to change from giving me chemo to radiation.  This was another change that I was not prepared for.  I am pleased that my doctors are monitoring my progress and looking for treatment that would make a difference. I had good results four years ago with radiation, however, I had thought I was told that I had reached my limit on radiation.  We are meeting with my radiation doctor this Tuesday, so I have many questions.  No matter what we do, I just want to get it started.  My major concern is sitting and not having any treatment.  It now has been over two and a half weeks since my chemo, so I am getting a bit edgy!  My condition has not changed.  Walking is an effort with the walker.  My most difficult task is taking a shower.  With Kath's help, I make it through, but it is exhausting.  I continue to keep busy with friends and family, which is my highlight of everyday!  We have a family gathering today.  Yesterday Kath and I celebrated our 38th anniversary!  We went to Chinook Winds Casino for breakfast/lunch!  Hard to believe that she has put up with me for that many years!  Thanks again for all of your comments and thoughts.  I'll let you know how treatment progresses and what I find out this week!

Today Kath, Brother "B", and I showed up for what was to be the first chemo in my fifth round.  I have had an excellent past two weeks and have been really feeling good!  So it was an incredible shock to show up at OHSU to find out that the MRI images showed that the tumor had grown and the current chemo procedure had not worked.  So today's chemo was canceled and a new chemo drug was ordered, which I will start as soon as we get it approved from the insurance company.  So once again, I find myself waiting on an insurance company!  I just want to get going with this new prescribed chemo drug to see if it has the desired effect.  So we will begin this next series of chemo once my request goes through the days of waiting for insurance approval.  As I've said before, this is a war and I just have to get ready for the next battle.  I will continue to appreciate your thoughts and prayers.  Family, friends, and a positive attitude are essential to success in every task we undertake.  I will continue to keep you all posted and let you know how I am doing.

Yesterday I had my long awaited MRI performed.  I was put completely under due to the fact that I could not be certain that I would be able to be still for an hour on my back.  So Kath and Brother B were at OHSU from 12:30 (check-in) and stayed until 6:00.  A very long day for them, but I remember nothing except sliding onto a table around 2:45 and then opening my eyes around 5:00!  Now the very long wait until I hear the results that I am hoping for!  I will start my first chemo of the fifth round series next Wednesday.  Then I will wait another week until I see my doctor and find out results.  I am still feeling great, although my right side has gotten weaker, making it harder to use the walker.  I have learned to just take shorter steps and not hurry.  My biggest concern is avoiding a fall.  Kath does a great job of staying close to me just in case I happen to mess up.  I really appreciate those people that are with me in the fact that they don't rush me or make me feel that I am a burden.  I am learning how to make situations work.  This past Sunday I went to the buffet at The Inn of Orchard Heights with Kath, my Mom, relatives, Ken, Rhonda, and Kelly.  I was able to stand for about fifteen minutes (I then could visit), then sit for ten minutes (I could then eat), then back to standing, and then back to sitting.....  By doing this routine, we were there from 9:30 until 11:15.  When you find yourself not being able to do simple tasks that you use to take for granted, you then must be creative in getting those tasks done.  Suddenly I can't sit up straight to eat with a fork or spoon.  So I do the next best thing in that I lay on my side, which means that a booth works great because I have two or three seats to use.  I quit worrying about the stares of people several months ago, because I look strange as I move around to make myself comfortable.  You have to be confident in the person you are and make the best out of the situation.  I've actually started up conversations with many people because they have asked me if they could help.  I say that I am doing great and ask if I can do anything for them.  That usually surprises them and suddenly we are talking about them.  I love visiting with people and hearing about them.  I have learned that each day is a gift and you need to enjoy it to your best!  My days are no longer filled with physical activity of running or working out.  Now I spend my days with my wife, family, and friends as I walk through Costco, go to Great Harvest Bread Company, walk and sit in "my office" at Fred Meyer, watch my television series with Kath and "T"...  You simply change your focus, but you do not quit doing!  You adapt to the change.  Again, thanks for all your comments and thoughts!  We are going to keep after it and make it work!!  Love you all!!

I went to the OHSU doctors' clinic today at 8:45.  I met a new (my fourth pain management doctor) doctor in the clinic.  I think that I must be a little frustrating to everybody, because they are doing everything that they can to get rid of my pain, but nothing seems to be doing the job completely.  I really liked this new doctor, but I also have liked all my doctors, and I appreciated his insight.  The major change is in the type of medication that he is prescribing for my spikes in pain.  I'll now be using a Fentinol popcycle, which I am to rub on the inside of my cheek.  He said that I will know if it works.  Currently what I am using works some portions of time and not at all in others.   So the jury is out on this one until further notice.  I am willing to try anything.  Then it was on to my third and last chemo for this fourth round.  It went fairly smoothly, only taking ten minutes or so to completely settle in the chair.  I had my usual cup of hot chocolate (I guess it is my calming food).  I started the process around 10:30 and remember looking at my watch around 11:45.  The rest is a blur, with me getting out of the chair around 1:10.  Kath had the wonderful chore of getting me to the restroom, making sure that duty was taken care of, and getting me to the car for the drive home.  She gets so many stars for all she does that I can't even begin to count them.  I look around that chemo area and can't imagine going through this without someone like her.  She is my blessing!
     This week I am going to see if I can get out for longer periods of time and work at attempting to sit up a bit.  Sitting in a chair has been the real problem so far.  I can sit in a recliner at a certain angle, but not close to 90 degrees.  My days allow me to be comfortable around 95% of the time, with only about 5% of pain spikes.  I am able to work with upper body weights before I get up in the morning.  Kath and I picked up some larger weights today, increasing my total by 5 pounds, that I will begin using. The idea is to try to increase my strength.  I want my physical  part to catch up with my mental part!  Again I want to thank all that are keeping up with my condition.   I will never quit reminding all that YOU are so important to my recovery.  As an individual we can only do so much and everyone needs a shoulder(s) to lean on.  As the cliche goes: there is no I in TEAM.  You are appreciated more than you know!

Met with my chemo doctor and we will do an MRI the last week of this month to see what effect the chemo treatment is having.  Fingers crossed that it is doing what we want it to.  If this is the case, then I will continue this pattern indefinitely.  He also addressed the pain management issue.  The idea is to try to get me pain free, which has not been the case.  I am able to manage the pain fairly well, but I usually am around a level 2 most of the time with it slipping to a 3 every so often.  I am discovering when the pain increases and what I need to do to get the pain level to go down.  I figure that if I am able to function with a bit of discomfort, then I am okay.  The most difficult thing for me is the fact that I am use to being so active and now that I am "grounded", I need to find other options to enjoy my day.  Barry gets me to Great Harvest every week for fresh bread and a visit with anyone that listens to us.  Carl took me to Eugene for our favorite TrackTown Pizza buffet.  Jeff comes over to play several games of cribbage. Kath had a barbeque for me and several of my college buddies last week.  It is trips and activities  like this that really help me and that I look forward to.  I am learning that I just need to explore and grasp different activities and they don't have to always be involving physical activity.  This Tuesday I will finish my third chemo session for round number 4.  Like most patients, I am finding that the day of chemo and the day after are great days for me.  Also I still have my hair and I am not having any negative side effects, which is awesome.  I can't say it enough, but I appreciate the comments and thoughts that you send my way.  I really enjoyed your entry, Chrissie.  It brought back many wonderful memories!